I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
