I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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