My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
