Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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