SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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