It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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