Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
