I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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