he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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