Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I wish I only lived at night.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
