I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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