question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
