I cockslap morals
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
