i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
