She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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