As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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