Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
