he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
