And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
