One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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