you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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