Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
