Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
