I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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