Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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