if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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