3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We named our party play list daddy issues
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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