I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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