I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
