i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just come out here and I will go home with you...
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
