id be glad to
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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