seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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