Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
