so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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