dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
