pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
