Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
