there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
