so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
