I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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