So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
