She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
