I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have demons in me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
