So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sorry my hands just texted you
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
