Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
