either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he was CRYING into my vagina
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
God, I missed his penis.
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