You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
