that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
