hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
