Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
