nut hugger
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
