I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
