That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Someone shattered a urinal.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
