ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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