I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
