Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dignity is for republicans.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
