Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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