You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
