the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
high people should be assigned attendants
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
