No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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